Other mothers and daughters

mother-and-daughter-ornamentThere is a warmth and understanding that often passes between women. If we are lucky, a bond with our mother is followed by a bond with our daughters. Of course, there are those tragic cases where a mother and daughter don’t bond, and the scars remain.

In my life, I’ve had two other older women who radiated warmth that felt like my own mother’s love. A bonding not quite like with a mother, and different from a friend.

Similarly, I’ve experienced caring for other women young enough to be daughters. Again, the relationships straddled motherly love and friendship. It’s hard to put a finger on it.

Over the years, I’ve watched my own daughters to see if they’ve developed relationships with other woman older than them. Perhaps as a mother, I want to be sure that they have a mature love to lean on even when I pass.

Today I watch my Chinese “daughter” make a new life for herself in Vancouver with her husband. We had the opportunity to connect through work in Florida. Our relationship transcends friendship. I miss our daily talks together over work lunches.

We can each find nurturing, caring love with others besides our family. If we allow it, there can be a bond that develops and grows that transcends friendship. It can be a shelter from a storm and joy in a darkened world.

Ask Maddie: Advice for Dogs – The Christmas Sweater

maddie-newPost #2: The Christmas Sweater

Dear Maddie,

Q1: There’s been a lot of noise around the house. A tree without a smell came out of a box and even has lights. I don’t like the dark, but these lights make it hard to nap. My question, however, is about a little sweater that they make such a fuss about. It’s green and red and everyone says I look so cute in it. My friends laugh a little when they see me in it. What gives?

A1: Well, I wanted you to feel in good company, so here’s a picture of me in my Xmas sweater. I’ve had it about five years now. Ever since my owners keep me trimmed up with an electric buzzing device, I get cold this time of year. Once you get past having something binding you, the warmth might win you over. Have you ever hosted a canine sweater soiree? They’re trending now.

Q2: This is a tough time of the year to keep control of myself. The wrapped packages look as if they’d like a little nibble, and the ornaments would be fun to catch. The temptation is unbearable. Last year they closed me in the bathroom just when I let my inner dog loose.

 A2: Haven’t you learned yet that some good things are better left undone? These thoughts of tearing paper, tossing ornaments and tasting tree boughs shouldn’t be repressed entirely. Look forward to a little doggie daydreaming and try to be satisfied when they toss you a small piece of poultry after dinner. If that doesn’t work, remember how cold that bathroom tile floor is.

Author’s note: Maddie is my daughter’s little Dorkie, and lives in Charlotte, NC. We raised her from a puppy.